


Victory

by JosieRuby1



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Grief, Loss, Pain, spoilers for s3 e23
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 23:00:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14579493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JosieRuby1/pseuds/JosieRuby1
Summary: Spoilers for series 3 episode 23.Chloe Decker was in his arms but it didn't feel like a victory.





	Victory

**Author's Note:**

> Lucifer is a show that exists to break me. After today's episode I needed to write something to stop myself sobbing.

It had been a victory. For all of them.

Lucifer had won the detective. It wasn’t the haha I beat Pierce victor he had been aiming for. It wasn’t the overwhelming happiness he had expected. It was a victory of calm, a feeling that this was how it was supposed to me. The way it always would have been if he had just taken a step back and breathed.

Dan was in his first healthy relationship since his divorce. He and Charlotte were finally beginning to settle. They were happy. A calm, gentle happy that came with breakfast waffles and silly gifts. Dan was – dare he even think it – beginning to fall in love.

The fog in Chloe’s mind had cleared enough for her to realise her true feelings. Perhaps Lucifer was the literal devil, perhaps he was a madman, she didn’t care. She did love him and although it would be a while before she told him she knew it. She knew it as certainly as she had ever known anything.

Chloe was in Lucifer’s arms now, she was clinging to him like a lifetime and it felt like a loss. She chose him once again. She chose him to comfort her. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, not caring about the tear stains on his shirt. And it wasn’t a victory any longer.

Charlotte’s body lay bloody and broken with Dan tightly wound around it. He was sobbing. A grief that Lucifer had seen many times but not from someone so close to him. Dan was hurting deeply and there was nothing to be done to stop that pain. Lucifer grieved too, inwardly, silently. He didn’t grieve for his mother, he never had, he had never needed to. He looked at Charlotte now and didn’t see his mother. He saw Charlotte Richards; the bad girl who tried so hard to be better; the unexpected friend who he had never realised how much he appreciated.

Chloe was crying into him; Dan was crying into Charlotte. Soon Ella would arrive and more tears would be added. Around them, radios hissed and officers talked, the world continued with them in stasis.

But the loss went further for Lucifer.

For the first time, he understood how Amenadiel felt when he had banished their mother. That blank empty look on his face. The silent grief at the knowledge that there was no goodbye, no final words. Lucifer felt that now. Felt it deeper than he’d ever felt a pain – the detective could marry Pierce and it would be nothing on this. Amenadiel was gone. Not dead but perhaps worse. Amenadiel had chosen to leave. The single feather, now tucked in his jacket, told Lucifer everything he needed to know.

It told him Amenadiel was in favour again.

It told him Amenadiel had left for heaven.

It told him that Charlotte was in heaven (He tried to feel a victory in that but it was so hard).

It told him that unless some serious shit went down he would not see his brother again for a very very long time.

There was no goodbye, no final words. The brother who hated him. The brother he hated. No chance for the truth. No chance to be the brothers that loved.

“Brother,” He said without sound. “Charlotte”

He lowered his head, kissing Chloe’s hair and tightening his hold on her. There was nothing to be done. Millenia he had spent believing that death and passing were nothing, human lives were so short what did it matter when another one ended?

It mattered because people cared. Because people loved. It mattered because there was no controlling that ache in your chest when someone you care about is snatched away. It mattered because there is nothing you can do to stop the people around you from feeling that same ache.

Chloe Decker was in his arms, she had chosen him but this wasn’t a victory.


End file.
